1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
