At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
