I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
