bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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