if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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