i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
