He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
