it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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