The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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