So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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