we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...