Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*