what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap