He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
