I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
