the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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