I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
