yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
