This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can I color on your dick again?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
