I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
