It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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