Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's a Shit stain on my heart
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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