the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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