I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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