I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Everything about him screamed your future.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
