watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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