Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
