I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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