if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
