Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
