3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
