sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
