Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
