so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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