I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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