Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
false alarm. still invincible.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
