Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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