if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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