and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
