Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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