Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my phone needs a breathalizer
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
