On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
