I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they need to just BURY HIM!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
