I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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