super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your penis caused this!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
