you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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