a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
