Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
