You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
