dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
