Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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