with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
