We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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