and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
