Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
